This is a post from my pal Ben Claridad. He’s a lifter, an artist, and a coach. Check out his website; it posts art work every day with some funny comments.
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“Big Screen TV Ass” or alternatively Supersize my Legs

I want legs so big that they make babies cry, so startling that they shake the foundations of your soul and you wake up in a cold sweat, relieved that my legs aren’t in the same room as you. If I were to travel by airplane, my ticket would read: row 34, seat A and D. Those wishing to cross the isle to gain access to the bathroom would have to pay my left leg a toll. My right leg will be busy counting the money collected and using it to buy no less than 10 airplane meals and something to read during the 2 hour layover. But before this becomes a reality, some background information is in order.

I’ve been competing on Olympic weightlifting for about 6 years now. My most recent trip to the American Open resulted in me going 2 for 6, making only my openers at 135 and 160. This was good enough for a 4th place finish and a celebratory meal at a mostly empty Japanese Steakhouse with the rest of my crew from Hassle Free BBC. In my experience, a lot of weightlifting is problem solving. And it was during this meal that I decided what my main problems are, the most glaring being my relatively weak squat PRs (F. squat 200/B. squat 230). I’ve also decided that (at least for the time being) I really don’t care about how I place at competitions. I’d rather walk around at comfortable 110-112 kilos and be looking for a 340-350 total instead of having to cut to 105 kilos and be looking for the 310-315 total. Am I saying that by simply being a heavier lifter, I’ll be guaranteed to achieve my goal of a 340 total? Not at all, but it couldn’t hurt to try. So for the time being, I’m going to implement a new strategy: get fucking huge.

Last night at the gym, I measured my thigh and ass circumferences (no homo). This ultimately ended up in a large group of lifters, rugby and football players taking amusement in the ridiculousness of what I was doing, and did the same (yes homo). The middle of my thigh measured 27 inches around and my ass (measured by wrapping the measuring tape around the waist and then sliding it down until you reach the plumpest point of your ass) measured 44 inches. Impressive when compared to the untrained individual? Sure. But when compared to guys who can Clean 2 hundo, my lower half just doesn’t cut it. Essentially what I’m looking for is somewhere between 30-32 inches for my thigh and for my ass: as close to 50 inches as I can get (people buy big screen TVs that big).

Taking measurements is very scientific. But good science needs solid data, so for the next 8 weeks (depending on when I start) I’m going to write down everything I do. This has the added benefit of A) keeping me accountable, B) forcing me to organize and implement a proper program, and C) allowing me to troubleshoot for what works for me and what doesn’t.

Here’s a video of me in the best shape of my life (with my Conan hair). Hopefully be the same time next year, I’ll be bigger, stronger, and faster than ever. (Note: the 1st snatch is actually 140, which at the time was a 3kg PR).