A New Outlook

Edit: The caption on the picture didn’t go through last night. It has since been updated.

Hey, maybe I’ve been to hard on the skinny guys. Whatever you want to do in order to be happy, you should do it. If you want to shave your chest, maintain some sexy abs, and pull in the ladies, then why not, eh? Nothin’ wrong with tryin’ to impress the ladies, right?

Look, we don’t need to eat all of this food. We can get BIG, and we can get strong if we eat healthy (it may take 10 years to increase your lean body mass by five pounds, but hey, slow and steady wins the race, knowhatImean?). I challenge each and everyone one of you to get a healthy serving of green vegetables today — THREE TIMES!! I think it’s time we start focusing on our health. After all, if you eat like we have been recommending for six months, then you’ll turn into a swarthy, obese, unhealthy mother fucker who isn’t very useful. By GOD, my friend Zach, the internet phenomenon, is SUCH a fat boy.

The 70’s Big stance is now one that revolves around lookin’ good and feelin’ good. Here is my 6 step program:

1. Eat less red meat. It has all kinds of things in it that you don’t need, especially if you are hitting glutes and cardio five days a week.

2. Three servings of vegetables a day keeps you slim, trim, with abs as sharp as a pin.

3. Cycle your abdominal exercises throughout the week so that you don’t exhaust one ab. If you want at least a six pack, then you better hit each pack by itself lest it shall be overtrained and grow angry.

4. Take your shirt off around other guys. It shows that you are okay with your sexuality and will be the primary method in finding a mate in the proximity.

5. Eat protein, but not too much. You can’t assimilate all of if anyway, and you don’t want it stored as excess fat!

6. Buy a mirror — two if you can. You should monitor your progress frequently. If your abs aren’t smashing diamonds in two, then you better sharpen your game, son.



But in all seriousness guys, it’s time to start lookin’ good and feelin’ good. Mmmm…can you smell it?

You better be willing to suck more than just blood if you wanna hang with this crew